Meron ba sa ating hindi nangangamba?
Nung bata pa ako, pag sinasakay ako ni mama sa kotse at pinagmamaneho, napakatulin niya magpatakbo at ako ay tuwang tuwa.
Ngunit ngayon, pakiramdam ko ay titigil na ang tibok ng aking puso kapag nakakasakay na ako ng matulin na sasakyan kahit pa asawa ko ang nagmamaneho.
Bakit tayo nangangamba? Sapagkat nasaksihan na natin ang maraming sakuna, at may consciousness na tayo ng danger and death.
What is anxiety? Ito ay matinding takot sa bagay at sitwasyong inaasahan nating mangyari na maaaring magdulot ng matinding kapahamakan sa ating buhay. Ibat iba din ang level nito. Mula Mild to Severe.
Anxiety is protective. Kasi pag di ka din nangangamba, di ka kikilos, di ka magiingat. Ngunit ito ay masama kung hindi ka na makapagfunction dahil nabalit ka na ng Takot at di mapakali sa nararamdamang kabalisaan.
Mild anxiety helps us to focus, gaya ng kapag tayo ay may nalalapit na eksaminasyon. But, Severe anxiety disables us because the fear outweighs our determination and decision making capacity.
Mas tumatanda ako, mas dumadami ang akong responsibilidad, mas nagiging matindi ang aking pangamba. I was anxious na wala akong mapuntahan ang buhay ko, I was anxious na iwan ako ng lahat at matirang mag-isa sa mundong ito, I was anxious about encountering bad strangers, I was anxious that death would come anytime soon.
I was a chronic worrier. A worrier and overthinker. A pessimist, always waiting for WORST to come.
I even volunteered as a patient for a motivational counselling demo because I saw that my worries are something I needed to work out with. And the counsellor was even surprised when I said
“I am a chronic worrier to a point where I also get so worried when I am not worrying about something else anymore”
Ganyan kalala.
Later on I was diagnosed of Bipolar Disorder 2. A disorder I fully embraced which made me more reason to rationalize about my worries.
How I overcome my Anxiety?
One of the most fearful event I have never imagined to come was the tragic death of my Mom. Truth is, I was sooo dependent with her, emotionally, physically, and financially.
Today is actually her 4th Death Anniversary. Through her death I learned so much.
Nadiskubre ko na matapang ako. Na kaya kong magfunction sa kabila ng takot. Na kapag wala ka nang choice kundi maging strong, ay magiging strong ka.
Natutunan kong sumandal 100% sa Diyos, kasi wala na akong ibang alam na pwedeng sandalan. Parehas kaming incapable ni mike. Parehas na nag-uumpisa. Nangangapa.
Natutunan kong harapin ang takot ko. Na may mga takot na hindi natin matatakasan, ngunit hindi din masosolusyunan ng Takot mismo.
Natutunan kong matakot lamang pag andiyan na ang kinatatakutan ko, at hindi mangamba hanggat wala pa ito. In fact, if you revisit all the times you feared something, you will realize na nung nakaharap niyo na ang sitwasyong yun, they were not truly as bad as they all seem.
Natutunan kong maging komportable kahit may pangamba. I am learning to live in the present and let the future worries about itself. I learned that my fear is anti-happiness. The more fearful I am, the less I enjoy each moment. Nothing can be accomplished by fear. Nothing can be prevented even if we fear all day long.
Sometimes, ang ating pakiramdam ay sinungaling at mapanlinlang. Hindi ito laging maaasahan. Kaya huwag laging mapagpaniwala sa sinasabi ng utak.
One of my favorite book was written by my favorite author (ang gusto kong maging lolo hehe) Dale Carnegie. Pwede niyo din ito basahin if you are an anxious person.
Ngunit walang dadaig sa Bibliya. When I was battling cancer, it is where I find peace, comfort and assurance.
Let us cast our worries to God. He is afterall the Alpha and the Omega. The beginninng and the end. The One who knows and controls everything.
Life of Fi 