March 2023 – Life of Fi

Courage to be Uncomfortable

Parang antagal kong hindi nakapagsulat but I finally got time to meditate again.

In every reset, there is always an uncomfortable feeling about starting over. Minsan it is scary to challenge yourself to the unfamiliar but you have to do it anyways kasi you’ll only grow when you get out of your comfort zone.

I don’t think I’ve mastered the art of being courageous, but, what drives me more in doing things I am afraid of is the Fear of remaining in the state of curiosity sa mga what ifs in life. Hindi ako matapang but I wanted to try because I want to see my potentials and discover things I can only unfold through TRYING. Losing and failing something despite of effort is better than just watching them gone without doing anything.

Im happy to be back… I’m happy that I’m always trying to pick up where I left. I am happy to build the courage of just not being discourad with failures and pauses.

Flawed and Beautiful

This coconut tree taught me that you can be #Flawed and still be #Beautiful.

Just because you were born different, or circumstances in your life made you different and probably took away your once normal body and life, means you can’t make anymore Difference or even add up beauty sa mundong ito. Our soul speaks in a way unimaginable. If we can’t appeal to other people’s eyes, then let our soul appeal to their souls.

Tumayo ka lang. Stand tall and be confident despite your deformities. Speak your soul. Show your heart. Let your beauty radiate because it is the vibe that you send to everyone that matters the most.

First Outing After Chemo

Early morning of March 1, 2023, Mike and I decided to take teacher Honey (my yoga teacher) out to the beach para kahit paano maunwind din siya. Ito din ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na makakapag unwind kami ni mike mula ng natapos ko ang chemotherapy ko last september of 2022. During chemo days kasi, di ako makalabas masyado, and can’t even swim sa dagat dahil mainit and chemo made my skin so dry and sensitive kaya madali masunog. Hanggang ngayon madali padin naman ma-irritate pero mas malakas na kasi ang loob ko.

We decided na sa Pakpak-lauin pumunta dahil weekday so wala masyadong tao. Makakapag introvert moments kaming tatlo. (Nagsama sama pa mandin kaming may kanya-kanyang trip sa buhay)

Wala kaming baon kundi pork bacon at samgyup cut beef lang at nagdala nalang kami ng lutuan. Of course di mawawala ang coffee.

Tuwing pumupunta ako dito, lagi akong may shot nito. Iba iba lagi ang dating niya kahit pauli ulit kinukuhanan

This is a wooden mug from sagada. Ang sarap niya talaga inuman ng kape isabay pa ang view ng dagat.

It was 8am so masarap pa magpaaraw. Time to recharge and boost my vit D. (📸 by Husband)

Naligo na din kami agad ni mike habang maaga pa. Medyo maalon, masarap kasi parang natural massage na din.

Of course, ang dakilang tagaluto, ang Mahal ko…

Mula january nagrereview lang din si Mike. Di kami makalabas kasi araw araw ang review at hanggang gabi din ang discussion. We want to unwind para fresh din ang mind niya bago mag-exam.

This is also my much needed break para makapagmeditate after everything that has happend to me. My cancer, chemo, and resignation.

Cancer and Me

I claim to be a woman of God.
Sa Kanya huhugot ng lakas at pag-asa. Sa pamamagitan Niya, ako ay magpapatuloy.

Many people complimented me for how strong I handled chemo and faced my cancer battle. I have read terms such as “maswerte ka”, “buti ka pa”, but what they do not know is that I am also as scared as hell. People didn’t know how I earnestly prayed to ask for the strength and courage.

Despite my fear, I do things scared. I fought hard but I never forget to celebrate life in between my struggles.

I am not my circumstances. I am what God teaches me during all those circumstances. I found joy in my lowest, and love during the loneliest time of my life.I realized that fighting scared is possible, and one need not to fake being strong just to be strong.The Grace of the Lord has always been enough for me. Posting these because I am about to close one chapter of my life. Looking back on all these photos, I am reminded of my resilience because of God’s faith in me.

The Grace of the Lord has always been enough for me. Posting these because I am about to close one chapter of my life. Looking back on all these photos, I am reminded of my resilience because of God’s faith in me.Cancer has took over my breast, but it revealed my strength. Sinira niya ang katawan ko, but it fixed my soul. It wrecked my plans but it directed my to seek my purpose. I hate you cancer but I am grateful to meet you. You changed me, the hard way, and God’s way.

Cancer has took over my breast, but it revealed my strength. Sinira niya ang katawan ko, but it fixed my soul. It wrecked my plans but it directed my to seek my purpose. I hate you cancer but I am grateful to meet you. You changed me, the hard way, and God’s way.

*All photos were taken during my chemo days.