Category: Bread of Life

Ngayon ay paguusapan natin ang apathy…

Ano ang Apathy?

• Loss of desire
• Lack of care
• Lack of interest
• Lack of motivation

In short, LAMPAKE or WAPAKELS

Hindi nagpapakita ng interest, NR or no reaction.

Have you ever met apathetic people?

Apathetic people are people who are cold. Cold enough to be involved, cold enough to express, and cold enough to share.

Why do we become apathetic?

⁃ Sa work, maaaring burned out ka na. Or di ka mo na makita ang purpose mo. Or bored na bored ka na.

⁃ Sa relasyon, maaaring nagbago na ang damdamin mo, nanlamig ka na. Meron ka nang iba? (Bad yun)

⁃ Sa buhay, dahil marami kang karanasang hindi maganda sa pakikupagkapwa tao. Inabuso ang kabaitan mo, sinaktan ka at iba pa.

⁃ Sa ispirituwal na aspeto, dahil pakiramdam mo hindi naman dinidinig ang panalangin mo. Or sapat nang mananampalataya ka na at marami namang ibang willing gumawa.

Ako, I became apathetic at one point of my life kasi I wanted to protect myself from pain.

To get involved, one may develop attachment and expectation. If we create desire and interest, we are also prone for disappointment. If we care, we may be hurt by words and actions.

Even in our spiritual life, we can experience these things.

I said No too many times before, to any work that involves any ministry. I decline to FEAST sa hapagkainan na inoofer ni God sa akin because I was not interested with His offer. I was not interested because I fear that He might not Love me still afterwards. Kahit na alam kong may kaya akong itulong at ibahagi, I’d rather watch minitries crumble down, than get involved. I dont want to be involved because I’m scared not to be appreciated. I tried not to care, because I experienced rejection, abused and being misunderstood in my initiative in the past. But you see, there is no Fulfillment in being Apathetic Christian as there is no Joy in being cold and lonely man.

The more gifted we are, the more helpful and kind we should be. If we want peaceful life ahead, we create peaceful life, not avoid life itself by practicing apathy. The more we want goodness, the more we should be motivated to cultivate it within our own practice. The more we want to meet Christ-like individuals, the more involved we should be in turning every person into one.

Meron ba sa ating hindi nangangamba?

Nung bata pa ako, pag sinasakay ako ni mama sa kotse at pinagmamaneho, napakatulin niya magpatakbo at ako ay tuwang tuwa.

Ngunit ngayon, pakiramdam ko ay titigil na ang tibok ng aking puso kapag nakakasakay na ako ng matulin na sasakyan kahit pa asawa ko ang nagmamaneho.

Bakit tayo nangangamba? Sapagkat nasaksihan na natin ang maraming sakuna, at may consciousness na tayo ng danger and death.

What is anxiety? Ito ay matinding takot sa bagay at sitwasyong inaasahan nating mangyari na maaaring magdulot ng matinding kapahamakan sa ating buhay. Ibat iba din ang level nito. Mula Mild to Severe.

Anxiety is protective. Kasi pag di ka din nangangamba, di ka kikilos, di ka magiingat. Ngunit ito ay masama kung hindi ka na makapagfunction dahil nabalit ka na ng Takot at di mapakali sa nararamdamang kabalisaan.

Mild anxiety helps us to focus, gaya ng kapag tayo ay may nalalapit na eksaminasyon. But, Severe anxiety disables us because the fear outweighs our determination and decision making capacity.

Mas tumatanda ako, mas dumadami ang akong responsibilidad, mas nagiging matindi ang aking pangamba. I was anxious na wala akong mapuntahan ang buhay ko, I was anxious na iwan ako ng lahat at matirang mag-isa sa mundong ito, I was anxious about encountering bad strangers, I was anxious that death would come anytime soon.

I was a chronic worrier. A worrier and overthinker. A pessimist, always waiting for WORST to come.

I even volunteered as a patient for a motivational counselling demo because I saw that my worries are something I needed to work out with. And the counsellor was even surprised when I said

“I am a chronic worrier to a point where I also get so worried when I am not worrying about something else anymore”

Ganyan kalala.

Later on I was diagnosed of Bipolar Disorder 2. A disorder I fully embraced which made me more reason to rationalize about my worries.

How I overcome my Anxiety?

One of the most fearful event I have never imagined to come was the tragic death of my Mom. Truth is, I was sooo dependent with her, emotionally, physically, and financially.

Today is actually her 4th Death Anniversary. Through her death I learned so much.

Nadiskubre ko na matapang ako. Na kaya kong magfunction sa kabila ng takot. Na kapag wala ka nang choice kundi maging strong, ay magiging strong ka.

Natutunan kong sumandal 100% sa Diyos, kasi wala na akong ibang alam na pwedeng sandalan. Parehas kaming incapable ni mike. Parehas na nag-uumpisa. Nangangapa.

Natutunan kong harapin ang takot ko. Na may mga takot na hindi natin matatakasan, ngunit hindi din masosolusyunan ng Takot mismo.

Natutunan kong matakot lamang pag andiyan na ang kinatatakutan ko, at hindi mangamba hanggat wala pa ito. In fact, if you revisit all the times you feared something, you will realize na nung nakaharap niyo na ang sitwasyong yun, they were not truly as bad as they all seem.

Natutunan kong maging komportable kahit may pangamba. I am learning to live in the present and let the future worries about itself. I learned that my fear is anti-happiness. The more fearful I am, the less I enjoy each moment. Nothing can be accomplished by fear. Nothing can be prevented even if we fear all day long.

Sometimes, ang ating pakiramdam ay sinungaling at mapanlinlang. Hindi ito laging maaasahan. Kaya huwag laging mapagpaniwala sa sinasabi ng utak.

One of my favorite book was written by my favorite author (ang gusto kong maging lolo hehe) Dale Carnegie. Pwede niyo din ito basahin if you are an anxious person.

Ngunit walang dadaig sa Bibliya. When I was battling cancer, it is where I find peace, comfort and assurance.

Let us cast our worries to God. He is afterall the Alpha and the Omega. The beginninng and the end. The One who knows and controls everything.

Day 1 Lent Meditation

Ito ang kwento ng Galit.

Maraming ugat ang galit, at ito ay isa lamang manifestation. Manifestation ng insecurity, pride, unhappiness, loneliness and bitterness.

Galit ka kasi hindi pwedeng tama siya at mali ka.

Galit ka kasi hindi mo makuha ang gusto mo.

Galit ka kasi hindi pwedeng masaya siya at loser ka.

Galit ka kasi pakiramdam mo galit din sila sayo.

Galit ka sa mundong nakakagalit, kasi naniniwala kang galit din ang mundo sayo.

Ganitong ganito ang karanasan ko.

Ito lahat ang ugat ng galit ko.

Pinakamadaling gawin ang magalit. Mas madali din hanapin ang mga bagay na nakakagalit sa kapwa kaysa kaibig-ibig. In fact, dumating ako sa puntong di pwedeng mas galit sila, dapat mas galit ako (competitive!).

Although di naman ako mapagtanim ng sama ng loob (honestly), pero magagalitin ako.

Ngunit marami akong natutunan tungkol sa karanasan ko sa Galit at Poot.

Ang Mas Galit ay mas Hindi Nakakatulog.

Yung kinagalitan mo, payapang namumuhay, habang ikaw, di makatulog kasi binabagabag ka ng iyong damdamin at nilalamon ka ng galit.

Hindi batayan ng tapang ang Galit.

May joke dati na para di ka awayin, unahan mo na ng galit. Hindi totoo yun. Akala mo di ka pinatulan kasi mukha kang matapang pero ang totoo, mas ibinaba mo ang sarili mo kasi you acted out of control.

Nakakagawa ng bagay na kasuklam suklam ang Galit.

Nakakapagsalita at nakakagawa tayo ng mga bagay na pwede nating pagsisihan sa huli.

Walang nasosolusyunan ang galit.

Wala. Nadagdagan pa ang problema mo. Worst, dumagdag ka pa sa problema.

How do we cure anger?

Humility and Self Control.

Ang tanong ay masama ba ang magalit?

Ang Galit ay emosyon, at lahat naman ng tao ay nakararanas nito. What God wants us to do is to control and slow down our anger so we would avoid committing things we will regret after. Anger can break a home. Kaya nitong kumitil ng buhay. Anger can even destroy the very person who experienced it.

Remember Cain and Abel. Remember kung paano pinagsabihan ng Panginoon si Cain na huwag magpadala sa galit, huminahon at mag-isip munang maigi. Hindi niya pinagbawalan si Cain magalit. Ngunit sinasabi ng Panginoon, huwag magpakontrol at magpadala sa galit…

Thank God I found You before I was even destroyed by Anger.